For me, Life is often a game of hide and seek. Me seeking God, while at the same time hiding from Him. I not trying to do this. I just find myself presenting an image that I think God wants, that becomes a lifeless connection. An honest heart never goes unrewarded. I have learned that the problem is, getting to the honest moment can be a bit tricky. You see God is perfect and my flesh is not. It wants to be, and often thinks it is; but it’s not. Fortunately, Jesus is a master at finding His way into my heart.
Sometimes, He (or usually someone He sends) offends my mind. My belief, my opinion, or my strong feelings suddenly find themselves cut cross grain. As my emotions rise, whether fear, anger or contempt, my heart is opening up. You see, I was pretending all was well, that I wasn’t afraid, or frustrated with life, and that I was an opened minded man. But I am not.
Sometimes circumstances call me out of hiding when I find myself in a situation that activates again my fears, frustrations or impatience. For a long time, I hid when these feelings flushed. But over time, I have learned that they are only flowers of the weeds that are growing inside my heart. I have learned that this is the moment where I can say “You found me Jesus – I am not the man I want to be – I am me.” It is so amazing that every time this happens, Jesus comes in love, in acceptance and in His covering over me. “I am enough, He whispers in my heart,” and I believe Him. “You’re more than enough,” I reply. “You’re my everything.”
It’s when I see me that I see Jesus, in His love, His goodness, forgiveness, and acceptance. My emotions release, my opinions subside, fears are removed and His peace and joy come. He is good and I see Him. His love knows no bounds and I feel Him. And for a moment, I realize all is well. I am loved.
Oh the joy of being found!